Whether it’s spending time with family or celebrating New Year’s, a collective tendency toward togetherness has always been a fundamental part of the holidays this time of year. Even though many people are separated from friends and loved ones this year, Tracy Witte, the Alumni Professor and Jane Dickson Lanier Professor in Psychological Sciences at Auburn University, says we can find new ways to celebrate togetherness.

“I do think there is a sense of optimism that people have, especially with the news about the vaccine,” Witte said. “A scientific achievement is something to celebrate, and hopefully that will get us back to something looking like normal maybe by next New Year’s.” Until then, she recommends reaching out to relatives and friends using technologies that allow people to spend time together safely.

Q: Is it true that holidays are difficult for many people and tend to bring about a sense of sadness or depression for some?

Tracy Witte is the Alumni Professor and Jane Dickson Lanier Professor in Psychological Sciences at Auburn University. (Auburn University)

Tracy Witte: I know that it’s a widespread belief that suicide is more common during the holidays, but that actually turns out to be a myth. The reason is gathering with people is very protective. And there’s a sense of community spirit during the holidays, and there’s a lot of beauty and decorations on display – which, of course, those things are not necessarily going to prevent suicide, but I think that the sense of social connection is really important. So, we don’t typically expect an increase in suicide around the holidays, and I would assume depression rates are probably similar.

What I would say as a psychologist to help people stay upbeat is figure out ways to feel that sense of connection, even if you can’t physically be together. I cannot emphasize enough how much of a human need it is to feel connected to other people.

Q: How important is it for society to remain optimistic as we leave behind this mentally exhausting year?

Witte: As a clinical psychologist and someone who focuses on studying suicide, we pay a lot of attention to hopelessness as a big risk factor and feeling like things are bad now and they’re not going to get any better. And so the opposite of that is hope. So, you can try to shift your focus to the positive things that are happening because of this vaccine and hopefully other developments that will turn this into a temporary thing that we can get through.

I also want to emphasize that we shouldn’t minimize the negative emotions someone is feeling. It’s healthy to acknowledge that things aren’t exactly the way we want them to be right now. There’s a lot of pressure to pretend like everything is OK right now, and I think it can be healing to just acknowledge that “I’m sad” or angry, and sometimes it feels like “I can’t do this.” But we need to remember that things aren’t always going to be this way. There is good reason to believe that things are going to shift, and that can help.

Q: Do you recommend people set goals instead of making resolutions for the new year? And is it important for people to begin a new year with a list of things that they want to achieve?

Witte: Based on the research, we know that most of the time that people make New Year’s resolutions, they kind of give up on them. So, although I’m not a big proponent of New Year’s resolutions, I do think it’s important for people to take stock and evaluate what they might want to change. And so setting goals for what you’d like to change or achieve can be really helpful and, in particular, we know that people are more likely to accomplish goals when they make a specific plan. So, rather than making a resolution that you want to exercise more during the new year, you could set a more specific goal of going for a walk three times a week. If you start to lay out exactly how you’re going to accomplish that, like, “Oh, you know, my kid sleeps until 7:30 in the morning, so I could go for a walk at 6:30 a.m., Monday, Wednesday, Friday,” that would work out well. And so, having a concrete plan for it can make it more likely that you follow through.

I also emphasize that people should focus on behaviors they have actual control over. A really popular resolution is to lose weight, and what we know is that most diets don’t work in the long term. People don’t tend to keep the weight off, but there are a lot of things that you can do that are beneficial for your health and increase your energy. So, rather than saying, “I want to lose 20 pounds this year,” focus on doing 30 minutes of physical activity a few times a week, or make sure that every meal involves some vegetables. Those are things you can do each day and you can see what you’re accomplishing along the way. Healthy habits are more important than the numbers on the scale.

This story originally appeared on Auburn University’s website.