A resiliency training instructor at Maxwell Air Force Base has had to put her teaching to practice herself after the loss of her son.

U.S. Air Force Tech. Sgt. Kathleen McConnell, Force Support Professional Development School master resilience trainer (MRT) course instructor, strives to reach all corners of the U.S. Air Force via resilience training at the Ira C. Eaker Center for Leadership Development at Air University.

As a special duty assignment, McConnell stepped outside her primary specialty in contracting for four years to train and develop airmen, equipping them with tools to navigate adversity and maintain peak performance under pressure.

McConnell’s journey from a Resilience Training Assistant (RTA) to an MRT course instructor began in 2018, when she received a nomination from her leadership to be certified as an RTA. This role allowed her to assist MRTs in teaching mental toughness and coping strategies to airmen.

“Seeing the stress levels that airmen go through made me realize everyone needs these skill sets, and that’s what led me to really want to help airmen,” she said.

Shortly after gaining experience as an RTA, McConnell completed the MRT course and became certified to independently teach resilience skills to airmen and lead the resilience program within her unit.

“Being certified as an MRT really emboldened me to take what I was doing and reach as many people as I could,” she said.

U.S. airmen from the Force Support Professional Development School pose for a photo at Maxwell Air Force Base. U.S. Air Force Tech. Sgt. Kathleen McConnell, FSPDS master resilience trainer course instructor, bottom left, trains and develops other airmen to equip them with the tools to navigate adversity and maintain performance under pressure. (Airman 1st Class Nelvis Sera / U.S. Air Force)

During her four years as an MRT, she developed a passion for helping others build mental strength, unaware that she would one day need to use those same tools to cope with the loss of her son.

In the summer of 2020, McConnell and her family received the devastating news that her son, Levi Kekoa McConnell, had stage four terminal brain cancer. At the same time, she was pregnant with her younger daughter, Effie Narumi McConnell.

During this period, McConnell said she turned to the MRT foundational skill sets: expressing gratitude, developing values-based goals, bringing personal strengths to task, reframing thoughts, emotions and actions, and practicing mindfulness.

She practiced gratitude by reflecting on who played a role in her day. She reframed anger into values-driven action. She leaned on her husband’s love of learning to ask the hard medical questions she couldn’t face, and she practiced mindfulness while taking walks with Levi.

“Practicing gratitude was foundational; I believe it helped my son with the negative effects from radiation and the medications he was on,” McConnell said. “Being able to sit every night and reflect on what happened that day, why it was important, why it was meaningful and who played a part in that, it broadened our sense of connection.”

U.S. Air Force Tech. Sgt. Kathleen McConnell, Force Support Professional Development School master resilience trainer course instructor, flips through the pages of Levi Kekoa McConnell’s gratitude journal at Maxwell Air Force Base. McConnell turned to the MRT foundational skill sets of expressing gratitude in her healing journey. (Airman 1st Class Nelvis Sera / U.S. Air Force)

Despite his condition, Levi pulled his mother through hospital hallways when her sciatica flared up, lifted weights like his idol, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and cherished every moment with his baby sister.

“After his radiation treatments, we went to the gym,” McConnell said. “He wanted to be like The Rock. To see this 11-year-old boy hit the weights after going through radiation treatment, it was awe-inspiring.”

Given Levi’s prognosis of nine to 12 months, the McConnell family then focused on what truly mattered and embraced every moment. Levi and his family practiced breathing techniques, grounding exercises, meditation and daily gratitude journaling. Levi was able to spend 11 months with his baby sister, who meant the world to him.

In September 2021, McConnell lost her son.

His middle name, Kekoa, means “warrior” or “brave one,” a name that embodied his strength, courage and resilience, McConnell said.

“Losing Levi left an enormous hole in our hearts,” she said. “There is no cure for grief, but there are actionable things I can do to live the truest, most authentic version of myself. Every push-up, every sit-up, every mile is for Levi.”

U.S. Air Force Master Sgt. Ryan McConnell, 42nd Force Support Squadron Airman Leadership School commandant, and his spouse, Tech. Sgt. Kathleen McConnell, Force Support Professional Development School master resilience trainer course instructor, pose for a photograph with their two daughters, Adelaide Keawe McConnell, left, and Effie Narumi McConnell, right, at Maxwell Air Force Base. McConnell lives her dream job as an MRT instructor and helps others discover their own strength. (Airman 1st Class Nelvis Sera / U.S. Air Force)

In 2023 McConnell continued her mission, taking the final step in her MRT journey as she was selected to become an instructor to train future MRTs.

“I am grateful for Maxwell,” she said. “I’m living my dream job right now. I was empowered to take opportunities that allowed me to be creative, think outside of the box and help others discover their own strength.”